Dear Survivor

I'm sorry that you have been gaslighted, manipulated, disrespected, disregarded and even physically assaulted by the same person whom you dedicated all your youth to, you didn't deserve any of this. You are an amazing human being and you deserve all the happiness in the world. I'm sorry I was not a confidant to you at the time you were going through the worst phase of your life, I was in a dark place myself. I'm sorry I couldn't offer my support before, I will always feel culpable for that. I'm sorry I can't rewind the clock or change things.

It may look like it but divorce is not a problem, it is a solution to an unhealthy marriage. It is a shame that divorce is a stigma in our society but believe me, expecting you to stay in a loveless, unhealthy, physical and mental health deteriorating relationship is much more of a disgrace than that. I promise your life won't get ruined just because you have decided to separate, you will infact get a second chance at it- to heal and to build yourself. You are kind, compassionate, willing to learn, grow and evolve.

It has taken over a decade for you to muster the strength to take the decision but it is never too late to decide and I'm proud of you for taking the decision. I will support you, I will be affectionate to you, care for you, help you heal and I promise to not criticise, blame or shatter you for the failed marriage.

There might be some repercussions, especially that there is a child involved, but it is okay because it is more important for your kid to have a happy mother than to grow up in a hostile environment. A distressed marriage can make children feel unloved, unsafe, unstable which is in fact resolved when the parents separate amicably. If a woman is forced to stay in a belligerent relationship, kids will only learn wrong meanings about important things in life like love, respect & companionship.

We will spend a lot of time together- go on long drives, learn and grow together, take road-trips, visit forests for nature trails, watch shows and movies together. When you get tired of exercising I will be there to help you. When you eat junk food on a cheat day, I will eat it with you. When you want to share, I will listen to you. When you get confused about what to do, I will counsel you. When you fall, I will pick you up. I may not be perfect at it but I promise I will try my best. We will fail, learn and succeed together.

It's a second inning and not the end of the world.